This morning I was greeted by my father, he was telling me of the not good situation of my grandparent’s business. And asked if I could lend them some money since they are the ones who helped me during my college years. I know for a fact that it would be hard to ask them to pay back. I have a couple of experiences with them and the “utang na loob” is hard to pay. They will always bring that up. I would like to help them out but this is not yet the time.

Maybe you are kind of familiar with this situation. Family members and relatives asking for financial help and soon after they got the money, its damn hard to get them to pay back. Making yourself a lot hopeless than they were. Lending relatives money is not bad, in fact, its a noble thing to do. But its stupid to help someone if you, yourself is struggling financially.

The Camel & The Ox

Let me share with you a story of a camel and an ox during the ancient times. The ox came to the barn one evening and protesting with all the hard work he made during the day. He was so damn tired and absolutely irritated by the work he do everyday. You know how hard it is to plow the field the whole day. He was jealous of the camel’s job. Carrying the master, then if the master is away, they were left in a green field so they can eat grass until the master is back. So his friend, the camel, suggested that, “You should pretend that you’re sick tomorrow, so our master won’t let you work. By that, you can have at least 1 day of relaxation.”. The ox was grateful for the idea and did exactly what the camel said.

The next morning, the ox was lying on the floor, pretending that he is sick. When the farmer came up to them and saw the situation. He thought that it would be a good idea to make the camel plow the field instead. So then, the camel plow the field for the whole day.

When the evening came, they were talking in the barn. The ox was thanking the camel for being such a good friend. For doing his work for the day. But the camel was angry for working the whole day in the field. He said to the ox, “If the master caught you lying again, he said that he will call the butcher you useless ox. Don’t even try that again you lazy ass ox.” And that was the end of their friendship.

Long story short, its ok to help others. But not to the point that you have to carry someone else’s burden. What I did so that I wouldn’t be like the camel? Instead of confronting them that I don’t trust lending them some money I used my extra money and bought stocks. And some of it I placed in mutual funds. This way, I or anyone in my family wouldn’t be able to touch that money until a certain period of time. I might be selfish this way but it depends on the person. I feel uneasy dealing with people that can’t tell the difference between business and personal life.